How to Handle Siblings’ Conflicts Through the Montessori Way | Babysteps

It is very obvious that the arrival of a new child in the family can make the older siblings feel replaced or less important. The birth of a new child can result in a great transition among the children which as parents one should deal with gently. So if you are stuck in a similar situation, then you are suggested to read until the end to discover some help.

Understanding Sibling Rivalry is the First Step

It is normal and even inevitable for siblings to compete. There are many reasons why siblings may start fighting with each other. To be precise, this includes the sense of competition, jealousy, divergent demands and temperaments or simply because they are bored and may be trying to get your attention. 

Though there are advantages of sibling conflict where they learn the power to handle struggles, settle disputes, set limits or make concessions- it does not change the fact that as a parent you should address this problem seriously. 

So what can be done? How to tackle a situation? Remains a constant question in parents’ minds. 

Montessori Ways You Can Handle Sibling Conflicts

The following will help you to discover the ways you can handle sibling conflicts as parents.

Prepare the Older Child 

One of the first things that you can do as a parent is to prepare the older child while the newborn is still in the womb. You and your child both can talk with the baby in the belly and begin a connection along. From needing their assistance to create the baby’s space to shopping for things all these things must be done together. 

Besides that, when the baby has arrived you can seek their assistance in cleaning them up, changing diapers or preparing milk as well. Allow the older sibling to cuddle the newborn and teach them to check up on the child regularly on your behalf in small situations like ensuring whether the baby is sleeping in the crib.

Spend Special Time with Each Child

Having a newborn around can be hectic and challenging as you may have to give all your attention to them. But as parents to more than one child, you should consider spending special time with each one of them. For instance, you can take care of the newborn the whole day. 

But as soon as you find them asleep, you can spend some time with the older sibling to watch cartoons together. Or you can simply make a routine of having fun baths or narrating bedtime stories on a daily basis besides letting them know how much you love them.

Treat Kids Fairly 

Fairness is significant to most parents, but it does not always equate to equality. You should adjust your children’s rewards and punishments based on their particular requirements. 

You are not required to offer the siblings the same gift, for instance. Instead, give children items that are appropriate for their age and interests. They will learn to respect one another’s differences and resolve disputes amicably.

Keep Your Cool 

There are many daily obstacles that come with having two or more children, and conflict is sometimes unavoidable. It is crucial to have a positive attitude for everyone’s benefit. The greatest method to deal with distressed children is to remain composed and in charge. 

It aids in their emotional regulation while preserving their power. When siblings argue, one of them typically overreacts rather than acting out the scenario as you would expect. So make sure that you are cool and trying to resolve the issue with love rather than getting angry.

Dealing with an Upset Child

You may come across situations where the older sibling may showcase their hatred towards the newborn. They may use words like “hate” or a feeling of anger which you may find offending at that time. 

But in such times, you should not get angry or frustrated about the situation and react badly to the older child. Rather you should give them a listening ear and try to find out what is bothering them. You can also choose to cuddle them or simply give them a hug to make them feel understood at the moment.


Just like any other relationship that needs to work, the relationship that siblings share is no less. As a parent, it is important that conflict and fighting should be expected and taken completely in a normal way. All that matters is how you handle it and it is all that will make the difference.

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